Walking into a local open mic, I look around at the mostly college-age students and first think, “I don’t belong here.” But why? Are older musicians supposed to have “made it” already? Or given up performing in public if they haven't? Or are not supposed to try something new?
“Bullshit.” Is my second thought, and I sign up for my slot.
I get the same initial don't-fit-in feeling walking into my local gaming and comic book store, and it's a nice store! I remember the first time I walked into a comic store with two little kids in tow. I probably wouldn’t have made it past the front door, but my kids kept going and pulled me in. I had just seen the X-Men movie and wondered where the idea of the universe came from. But there were so many different comics that looked like X-Men, I was overwhelmed.
Lucky for me, a nice man saw me wandering and happily guided me to a few compilations to buy for a good introduction to the X-Men universe. He was welcoming, so I returned. But is that the average encounter for an older woman in a traditional young male place? What was yours?
How old were you when you first walked into a comic book store? Or a gaming store? Or attended a Con for geeks? Or went to Friday Night Magic? Were you alone? Did you ever go back?
I got into a conversation with a barista once about Friday Night Magic. He said it was rare for a girl to ever return. There were some girlfriends who would hang out, but never play. And the girls who did play, were not treated well. When I asked him for specifics, he said the guys weren’t rude, they were just so awkward and obviously uncomfortable playing the game with the girl. He imagined it just wasn’t a fun time for the girls who tried. He always hoped they would come back, because the more girls that came, the more the guys would get used to it.
But who wants to be the girl to have to help guys adjust? My own son, who is in the perfect demographic for Magic (14 year old white boy) was completely intimidated at a local gathering and refused to play. How must it feel to be someone who doesn’t fit in at all?
I’ve cosplayed at cons before, and it takes some guts. I’m not going to look like that twenty-something in an anime bikini. It’s odd to think I’m shy about being something I’m not (a young fan) while dressing up as something I’m obviously not (a fictional character). But the feelings are there.
How do you guys reading this feel when an older woman is checking out the comics in your store? Do you even notice or care?
That’s what I want. I want to not be noticed. I want it to be normal for a female of any age to browse the latest GURPS edition, sign-up for a boffer sword tournament, or simply have an opinion on a panel about science fiction novels.
Most of my friends would not call me shy, yet in this area I am. Writing about my geeky interests is much easier because I'm alone at my computer. I'm happy to be part of the GeekMom community, but they can't fill my local gaming store when I decide to go. And if I feel this way now, what about when I'm even older?
Do grandmas read manga?
