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    Fox News’ Abundant & Unnecessary Use of Big-Area Touch Screens

    Hollywood is always trying to sell us crazy computer interfaces. Wavy hands and holograms? Never gonna happen. But now Fox News is in on the game, too—and the Angry Nerd is unfairly unbalanced about the network's giant, newsgathering touch screens.

    Released on 03/20/2014

    Transcript

    [chimes]

    [steam Whistle]

    I just saw something unsettling on Fox News.

    And no, it wasn't yet another piece

    about the alleged war on Christmas,

    which actually sounds like the premise

    of an awesome action movie.

    What I saw was a colony of BATS.

    BATS is Fox's acronym for big area touch screens.

    Fox is doing what the makers of Ender's Game

    and Minority Report did.

    Come up with a non-intuitive and awkward interface

    in an attempt to make human-computer interaction look cool.

    Back in the olden days, when primitive humans

    communicated mostly with speech,

    it was easy to dramatize conversations.

    Guys and Dolls could actually look dynamic

    using telephoness. See?

    Press room. Huh?

    Wait a minute.

    Hello, Sarge? McCue talking.

    Hold the line, will ya? What?

    You could even build suspense and drama around a chat.

    Just listen to me!

    You see, Nancy?

    With the language and everything?

    Look around you.

    There's nothing dramatic or exciting

    about people using keyboards.

    For example, watch this.

    [dramatic music]

    There.

    I just delivered a blistering Facebook beat-down

    to some patheticator who doesn't appreciate

    Warren Ellis's run on Hellblazer.

    My target is probably curled up in the fetal position now.

    But all you saw was me staring slack-jawed

    at a screen like a moron.

    And that presents a terrible dilemma

    for the entertainment biz.

    How do you wring drama out of that?

    Well, like this, apparently.

    The media is trying to convince us that in the future,

    user interfaces will have us all performing

    balletic gestures and windmill swipes.

    If modern media barons were smart,

    they'd pour money into cutting-edge research

    of voice recognition and natural language processing.

    Open the pod bay doors, HAL.

    [HAL] I'm sorry, Dave.

    I'm afraid I can't do that.

    There. Now, that's dramatic.

    Kubrick was right.

    About everything.

    What's the most ludicrous interface you've seen in a movie?

    Let me know in the comments.

    Starring: Chris Baker

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