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    The Most Famous Female Comic Book Character is a Franchise Flop

    A kick-ass lady protagonist? Check. Greek mythology? Check. Comic book source material? Check. Wonder Woman has all the ingredients for a hit TV series. So…where is it?

    Released on 02/06/2014

    Transcript

    (piano notes) (synth chord)

    (keys typing) (steam whistle)

    So I'm watching this new series, Atlantis on BBC America

    and it is ludicrous.

    (intense music) (arrow whips through air)

    The premise, a modern-day dude named Jason,

    oh, I see what you did there,

    gets transported to the fantastical realm, pre-immersion,

    where he battles a Minotaur, pals around

    with the mythical demigod, Hercules

    and the non-mythical mathematician, Pythagoras.

    Tell 'im about Non-Euclidean geometry, Jason.

    He'll totally soil his toga.

    Is it nonsense?

    Sure.

    Will I stop watching?

    Absolutely not.

    Greek mythology is just inherently great TV.

    You got swords, sorcery, superhuman feats

    of strength and agility, giant monsters, power plays

    between deceitful gods.

    It's bullet-proof material

    that even a $75 per episode effects budget can't ruin.

    Which makes me wonder.

    (retro funky music)

    (thunder cracks)

    Why is it so hard to get a series based

    on Wonder Woman off the ground?

    She's only the most famous female comic book character,

    ever.

    An Amazonian warrior princess from Greek mythology.

    Get what I'm saying?

    She has magic bracelets that repel bullets.

    (bullets ricocheting)

    And a magical golden lariat of truth.

    (rope whipping through air)

    (whip cracking)

    You must now tell the truth.

    Let's just run this down.

    TV audiences love mythological heroes.

    (wood bashing face) (man groans)

    (yells)

    TV audiences love kick-ass lady protagonists.

    TV audiences love comic book characters,

    given the right twists

    and slash fic writers love

    that Wonder Woman gets captured and tied up a lot.

    So, when was the last live-action Wonder Woman on the air?

    (epic music) (man groans)

    Sorry Lynda Carter,

    but that show was a cheesecake, cheese-fest.

    In 2011, a Wonder Woman series

    on The CW didn't make it past the pilot.

    An NBC series in 2012 didn't even make it

    off the drawing board.

    Oh, and don't even get me started

    on Joss Whedon's canceled movie adaptation.

    Have you read the script online?

    It's better than The Avengers.

    Absolutely ridiculous.

    Now, yes it's true that Zack Snyder just cast Gal Gadot

    as the Amazonian princess for a supporting role

    in Superman Vs Batman, but why not Gina Carano?

    Or Beyonce?

    And, presumably, Wonder Woman will be

    in the Justice League movie,

    but Wondy could carry a project on her own.

    (growls)

    I wish I could lasso all of those dunderheaded TV execs,

    with a golden lariat of truth and make them tell me,

    how they managed to fail with can't-fail material.

    Maybe if I sacrifice a few araxa to Zeus,

    he'll send down some lightening bolts

    to get the show out of turn-around.

    Shazam! (thunder cracks)

    Wrong lightening bolt.

    (synth note)

    What superhero do you like to dress up as?

    Let me know in the comments.

    Who do you think could play Wonder Woman

    in the upcoming TV series that someone should be making?

    Let me know in the comments

    and please subscribe to the Wired channel.

    Starring: Chris Baker

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