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    The Implausibility of Thor's Physics-Defying Hammer, Mjölnir

    Thor’s hammer Mjölnir is undoubtedly one of the most badass superhero weapons around. But its physics-defying and trajectory-changing travel powers are too much for Angry Nerd to handle. A majestic hammer...come on!

    Released on 11/05/2013

    Transcript

    (synth notes)

    (keyboard clicking) (train whistle blowing)

    If there's a multiverse

    where Thor's hammer isn't the most badass weapon around,

    I don't wanna live in it.

    (intense epic music) (hammer humming)

    (hammer pounds)

    The hammer is called Mjolnir.

    Which sounds like the name

    of a fearsome Norwegian black metal outfit.

    And it's tough enough to knock out a rampaging Hulk.

    (monster roars) (hammer whistling)

    (rock explodes)

    Anyone else?

    But my infatuation stops there,

    because Mjolnir is also the god of thunder's primary means

    of transportation and the idea of hammer travel is,

    as the Norse would say, idiotisc excrementor.

    In the comics and movies, Thor twirls Mjolnir

    at great speed, generating enormous angular momentum,

    then he hurls it in the direction he wants to travel

    and instantly grabs it again, thereby hitching a ride

    on the deity flung missile.

    (whistle blows)

    Flagrant foul.

    Travelling in a manner that violates the laws of physics.

    Whoever's in charge of aeronautics fact checking at Marvel,

    you should know that every time hammer travel happens,

    Isaac Newton spins in his grave

    and generates plenty of angular momentum, while he's at it.

    Look, conservation of momentum dictates

    that Thor shouldn't be change direction, once he's flying,

    but according to the comics, he uses magic

    to control his trajectory, once he's launched.

    And so, why can't he just use magic

    to fly in the first place?

    He's using magic to summon lightening and cause tornadoes.

    Nice continuity, jackass guardians.

    If Marvel were serious about this,

    they'd stick to how Thor actually travels

    in Norse mythology.

    In a cart, pulled by his goats,

    Tanngrisnir the tooth gnasher

    and Tanngnjostr the tooth grinder,

    whom Thor slaughters every night for dinner

    and resurrects the next morning.

    Think of the cinematic potential.

    Thor, Goat Devourer, coming to theaters in 2016.

    Marvel Studioses,

    (hammer bangs) (thunder crashes)

    I'll await my cheque.

    (keyboard clicking) (train whistle blowing)

    (CNE chime)

    Why can't Hawkeye just hitch a ride on his arrows?

    Let me know what comic book crimes

    against physics get your goat in the comments.

    Also, why doesn't Thor have a catchphrase?

    Is it because, Stop, hammer time.

    Is already taken?

    Suggest a catchphrase for Thor in the comments.

    (upbeat bass-heavy music)

    Starring: Chris Baker

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