(steam train horn)

[Narrator] He invented the fist bump, planking.

Autotune

[Narrator] The back-side ollie, and Zoomba.

I'm confused.

Who is this movie for?

The characters Mr. Peabody and Sherman

don't have a lot of name recognition

with the elementary school set.

The last new episodes were released 50 years ago.

Even today's parents don't really remember it.

Is it for ultra-discerning connoisseurs of cartoon history?

Like me, who adore the crudely animated,

but superbly written cartoons of Jay Ward and Bill Scott.

Ahh, Rocky and Bullwinkle, George of the Jungle,

Dudley Do Right.

C'est Magnifique.

I love the time travelling exploits

of Mr. Peabody and Sherman.

But, there is no way I am watching this new film.

I've been hurt too many times.

I understand turning an action packed show into a movie.

You get a proven premise, good theme music...

(hums the theme song to Mission Impossible)

But old comedy shows are much, much harder,

to translate to the big screen.

And old animated comedy shows,

lets just say you're almost guaranteed

to slip on a banana peel into an open sewer.

People forget how cheep cartoons were back then.

See how they stand stock still,

or move in monotonously repetitive ways?

To keep kids attention they had to be weird.

The expensive remakes excites the off-kilter quirky elements

that made these shows endearing

in an effort to appeal to a mass audience.

And blockbuster CG flicks are so desperate to entertain,

that they have to cram every frame

with frantic action and gags.

Oh la la!

I did not see that coming.

They've turned Jay Ward's low key zaniness

into Peabody and Sherman's Excellent Adventure.

You people realize that a Smurfs 3 is already in the works?

Deeply disappointing experiment.

If you have any ideas on how we can stop this,

let me know in the comments.