(ambient music)

(train horn blowing)

A remake of RoboCop?

I would not buy that for a dollar.

It's bad enough the new film replaces

a scathing Reagan-era satire of privatization,

vigilantism, and cut-throat yuppie corporate culture,

with prosaic commentary about drones.

Your move, creep.

But I have some serious doubts about how well

star Joel Kinnaman can fill Peter Weller's helmet.

It's not the performance I'm worried about.

Kinnaman's an excellent actor.

But when RoboCop's face is the moviegoer's only link

to his one-time humanity, there had better be

a hyper-photogenic jaw peeking out from under that visor.

Kinnaman's, it's fine.

But Weller's.

Weller's was magnificent.

Perfect lips that weren't too plump or too thin.

Chin, teeth, philtrum, all flawless.

Oh, give him a Kirk Douglas dimple,

and he'd have the whole package.

Ah. (harp music)

And it's not just about chins.

I also can't get past the changes to the iconic helmet.

In the original, the part-man, part-machine, all-cop

is hidden by a visor for 2/3 of the movie.

When he removes it and we see his human face, it's like...

It's like glimpsing the visage of Vader

at the end of Jedi.

(eerie music)

However, the helmet in this new movie is retractable!

RoboCop puts it on and removes it as casually

as if he's retracting the sunroof on his 6000 SUX.

Outrageous!

I get it.

Hollywood pays big bucks for a bankable star,

so they want to highlight his mug.

That's why movies show Ironman and Spiderman

exposing their punims mid-battle,

even though no self-respecting comic book hero

would ever doff mask!

By the way, that's reason 1,047,232

that the recent remake Dredd is superior

to the 90s Stallone version.

They let Karl Urban leave the helmet on in the remake.

Defense noted.

Hollywood, I find you in violation

of superhero bylaw 3.1 Section A.

Protagonists are to wear their signature costumes

at all times!

Please remove, or alter this footage in post.

Thank you for your cooperation.

(ambient music)

What star do you think has the best lips in Hollywood?

Alexander Skarsgard?

Liv Tyler?

Tom Hardy?

Scarlett Johansson?

Let me know in the comments.

What's your favorite superhero helmet?

I mean besides the one from Rocketeer,

which is plainly the best-ever.

Let me know what you think

is the second-best superhero helmet in the comments,

and subscribe to the Wired channel.